You Can't Have A Rose Without A Thorn
by inacolddecember
Summary: Quinn thought that she had been the only one who Puck had hurt, and had their life changed forever. But she was wrong. Someone close to her had gone through a similar situation, not to long before she had. Now it was time for her secret to be revealed.


**A/N- Yo peeps. How are you? So this is my new fanfiction. It's just something that popped into my head when I was trying to do my French homework, so I wrote it. It's going to be a little time jumpy. Like in Atonement but less confusing and without James McAvoy. Hope you like it. And REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I own zilch. Everything glee belongs to Ryan Murphy and co. If it was mine Brittana would be on and Quinn would have kept Beth, and be happy. Also they would be singing **_**Never Forget**_** by Take That in the graduation episode. And maybe Days of Summer From AVPS, but I don't know if Glee could do Starkid justice. Just saying.**

**Anyways… On with the story.**

Santana knew exactly what Quinn was feeling when she said that she just wanted to be loved. Falling's the easy part; it's getting someone to love you back which is harder.

For Santana, things never happened the way she wanted it to. Her life wasn't the one she had imagined for herself when she was six, when she used to plan her wedding and future family with her and Brittany's Barbie's. Back then she imagined her life was going to be perfect. And, in some ways it was. But then again, you can't have a rose without a thorn.

GLEEGLEEGLEE

Quinn walked leisurely down the corridor; a pile of books clasped under one arm, her bump clearly defined in her grey smock top. Her cross necklace caught the glint of the corridor lights, sticking out from her pale skin, as if by doing so, it was trying to prove a point.

Each person reacted differently as she past them. Some scattered like leaves the wind, scared that if they touched her, they themselves would end up knocked up. Others bumped her shoulders, trying to literally knock her down a step. Others smiled sympathetically at her, but these were in the minority.

Even though they had had 8 months to get used to the idea of Quinn being pregnant, whispers and jeers were still everywhere.

But Quinn seemed oblivious, clearly used to it by now, as she waddled along, humming the tune to the song they were going to be singing at Regionals next week, patting her bump in time to the beat.

Santana watched from her locker as Quinn approached the English (AN- Is this what you call this class in the US? Is it English? English lit? American English? IDK, I'm British) classroom door, only for Puck to appear behind her and take the books from her reluctant hands.

She knew Quinn was a feminist, but judging by the fact her now-free hand immediately went to soothe her aching back, she assumed that this once, she was letting it go.

She watched as Puck neatly laid Quinn's books down on her desk and helped her into a comfortable position on her exercise ball, which she was now using as a chair as she could no-longer fit behind the small desk.

Quinn smiled and thanked Puck before turning to face the front of the classroom, as Puck left.

She knew that Quinn and Puck were no-longer an item, but it was obvious that they were getting along better now Quinn was living with Mercedes, and that Puck clearly cared about the needs of his baby-mama almost as much as he did about their baby.

As she watched Quinn smile and rub a small patch on her belly, as if the baby had just kicked, Santana's hand subconsciously reached out to lie on her own pancake flat stomach. Jealousy filled as she wished that she had that special connection with someone, like Quinn had with the unborn child in her uterus.

An unhappy scowl crossed Santana's face as the late bell sounded. With one last glance in Quinn's direction, Santana turned and headed down the near empty corridor towards her next class.

GLEEGLEEGLEE

It was June 2008(AN- I don't know exactly when Santana's Birthday is, so I'm just going to say it's in May), and a 14 year old Santana sat staring at herself in her bedroom mirror, delicately applying lip gloss to her plump lips. Santana had two weeks left of middle school and she intended looking her best for it. She didn't want to look like a home-schooled six year old in any end-of-year photos, that was the other people's job, not hers.

As she straightened out her short skirt, her phone buzzed. Picking her phone up, she smiled, seeing the text was from Puck, the school bad-ass, asking her if she wanted to come over tonight. Smiling, knowing her alcoholic mother and her gang member brothers wouldn't miss her, she replied yes.

Santana and Puck had first slept together six months ago, at a New Year's Eve party. There was no meaning to it, no reason, they weren't even drunk when they did it. They did it purely because they could. And now they were both hooked.

Still smiling, Santana stuffed her phone in her bag, and left.

Santana daydreamed her way through most of the periods that day, just like usual, thinking about Puck, her best friend Britt and her favourite Spanish speaking soaps.

It was a quarter of the way through 5th period (AN-I'm just going to pretend that they have 5 periods in a day, like they do at my school) when a guest speaker came in to talk to her biology class. This happened occasionally, and usually she daydreamed during them, but today, for some reason, she could tear her eyes and ears away. She didn't know if it was because he looked like John Stamos' twin or the actual subject itself that had got her hooked.

They were discussing sex education.

On the board behind Mr Stamos' twins head, he had written a list of things that could happen if you had sex unprotected. Santana started to get worried, her and Puck never used anything, they were both just too eager to get down to it to stop and think first.

She knew that each other were the only two people who they had slept with, so STD's were out of the window, but the last one on the list scared her. I her head, she started counting how long it had been since her last period, it had definitely been more than 28 days.

Turning pale, Santana made a plan to get herself a test as soon as possible. This had to be a false alarm, it just had to be.

As soon as the bell rang, Santana was the first out. She ran as fast as her little legs could carry her, texting Brittany as she went, telling her she was sorry but to go without her. When Santana reached the chemist, she muttered 'shit' under her breath as she saw who was at the counter. It was her Mum's friend, Anita, they told everything to each other and if she saw her buying a test, her Mum would find out and decapitate her, no matter what the result.

Deciding stealing a test was her only option, Santana grabbed the nearest to her and stuffed it in her bag while Anita turned to get a person's subscription. Sprinting out of the shop, she caught her breath as she waited by the bus stop, waiting for her bus to take her home.

When she arrived at her flat, she quietly opened the door and tip toed to her bedroom and then to the bathroom, trying not to wake her Mum who was fast asleep on the settee surrounded by cigarette butts and empties.

Peeing on the stick as quietly as she could, Santana anxiously waited for the slowest two minutes of her life to go by. As the clock slowly counted down, Santana's prayers were asking everyone possible to make this test negative. She even looked to the sky and asked God, something she didn't do often.

As the clock changed time on her phone, Santana took one deep breath and looked down at the test. Her breath caught in her throat as the stared down at the single red cross. _Positive._ All thoughts crossed through Santana's mind as she stared at herself in the mirror, wishing the result to change.

It didn't.

As tears started to fall down Santana's cheeks, one thought stood out in Santana's mind. A question. _What am I going to do?_ _What am I going to do?_

Santana went to Puck's that night, even though everything was telling her not to. Puck was calm and oblivious, none the wiser of the bombshell that had just landed on her head.

As he groaned and pushed in and out of her, Santana lay still, thinking. She thought about Puck, a sex-mad 14-year old boy, could he be ready to be a dad yet? She thought about her body- rounded and covered in stretch marks- she'd never be able to pull and become a cheerleader if she had that. She thought about next year, she didn't like the thought of being the new girl, but the thought of being the pregnant new girl was much scarier.

She had one decision to make.

She couldn't do this. Not at 14. Not with him. She had to make it go away. There was no other option.

GLEEGLEEGLEE

'Don't stop!' the crowd goes wild. Quinn smiles with joy and pride, but that smile quickly turns to a grimace as the sharp pain hits her again. Holding her stomach, she waddles off stage after the others.

The others cheering, Quinn puts on a fake smile as the pain fades. This wasn't the first pain she had had. She had experienced little twinges, gradually getting stronger for about 24 hours now.

As she went down the stairs, her mum popped up around the corner. Quinn tried to pay attention to what she was saying, but the pain had started again. She heard snippets of her mum talking about her dad and baby, but Quinn was distracted by the feeling of a warm liquid seeping down her legs and starting to pool on the floor.

'My water just broke' she stuttered out, her mum's face going pale with the realisation of what she had just said.

As all hell broke loose and Quinn was rushed away, now bent over in pain, Santana stayed behind a little longer than the others. She thought about what would have happened if it had been her in that position, instead of Quinn.

As she ran to catch up with the others, she tried not to think about it, knowing if she did, she wouldn't be able to keep control of her emotions.

As they waited in the hospital waiting room, she tried to distract herself from reality by reading one of those 20 year old magazines they keep in there, but she couldn't help but look up every few minute as Quinn's screams gradually got louder.

After only a few minutes of waiting, Puck came out, a great smile stretched across his tear soaked face.

'It's a girl' he exclaimed emotionally, embracing Mr Shue. Smiles spread across everyone's faces, even Santana's, but hers faded before the rest.

Later on, after they had all said congratulations to Quinn and Puck, and headed back, and the results were read out.

They hadn't even placed.

Santana cried. Letting all the emotions which she had kept cooped up for the last few months out, knowing she could disguise them with the tears from losing.

The next day back at school, Quinn turned up, much to everyone's surprise, but everyone who looked at her could tell she was hurting, emotionally and physically. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked like she hadn't slept much.

Santana learned that Quinn had spent all of the day before with Beth, crying and cuddling her, before handing her over to Shelby, where today, her adoption was being finalised.

Just before glee, Santana had caught Quinn crying in the bathroom. Santana embraced her as she sobbed onto her shoulder, muttering how much she wanted her daughter back. Santana had held her and soothed her as the tears gradually slowed, before, hand in hand, they both headed off to the last glee rehearsal of the year, sniffing, and trying to remain strong for each other, and themselves.

GLEEGLEEGLEE

Santana sat on the pavement outside Planned Parenthood. She had been sitting there for several hours, crying and holding her stomach as blood flowed out of her, staining her dress and pooling on the pavement beneath her, but Santana barely even noticed.

She just wanted it back, the being sick and needing to pee all the time, she wanted it back. That's all she could think about. The fact she was a murderer, of her own child. Before, it seemed that having an abortion was her only option. She couldn't think of another way to go about it.

But now, she wished she hadn't.

It was getting dark now. She didn't have to check the time. It was June. She knew it was late. She knew her mum would be passed out and never noticed she was gone.

Getting up, Santana slowly started heading home.

Once she was back, she crept into her room, and cried herself to sleep, still wearing the same blood stained clothing.

Over the next few days, she didn't venture out of her room. Only when she stopped bleeding did she finally come out and clean herself up. Her dress was almost completely red with blood, but that was the way Santana wanted it. If her child couldn't have a grave, then at least it would have a tomb, a place where it would rest, and Santana would know where that was.

As the weeks went by, Santana didn't change. She only went out occasionally to visit Brittany or to go shopping.

Most of the time, she spent her days watching movies at home, or reading. No-one knew of Santana's love for reading, but for Santana, it was one of her favourite things to do, as it would let her escape from her reality into a fantasy world, and escaping was the way she had dealt with the ups and downs of her life since her Dad had left.

It was halfway through the summer. Santana was sat in her room watching, watching a British indie horror movie on some channel she didn't know she had had. The film was called _The Children_. Halfway through the movie, Santana noticed something. Something the main character had inked onto her body. Santana realised that this could be a way for her to show how much her child meant to her, even though it wasn't alive anymore. A permanent memorial.

The next day, Santana went to the tattoo parlour and got her tattoo done. She didn't look 16, but Santana always had ways of making people believe she was older. Her tattoo was of a small foetus, her foetus, on her stomach, with an ink umbilical cord attaching it to her belly button. She thought it was perfect.

GLEEGLEEGLEE

It was the week after school had finished, almost 2 weeks since they had lost at nationals, and Santana was at home trying to read, and failing. She didn't fail often, but today was her unlucky day.

She couldn't stop thinking about what Quinn had said. About how much it had hit home for her.

Over the past year, Quinn's pregnancy wasn't mentioned that much in conversation, so Santana never had to think about it too often. She wasn't reminded about her own pregnancy every day, like she had been in their sophomore year.

But she couldn't completely escape from it. No-one knew of Quinn's gift for writing, or that she kept a blog. As far as Santana could tell, not many people read it, but Santana did.

Quinn would pour out her heart and soul into that blog, everything she was feeling about life and Beth, trying not to feel so alone. But Santana could tell that Quinn had never truly got over that feeling of being an outcast.

But Quinn wasn't the only one feeling like that.

Santana had never told anyone about the baby. Not even Puck. She was going to once, but then she saw him with some other girl. That was when she realised that he probably wouldn't care about this baby that never survived into the outside world.

But Santana didn't want to feel alone anymore. She didn't want to be going through it by herself forever. She needed to tell someone. Someone who understood.

Brittany was the love of her life. Her soul mate. But it was safe to say, the girl wasn't the sharpest knife in the place where they keep the knives. (AN-Toy story 3 quote sorry couldn't resist) She thought babies came from stalks. She may have thought she was pregnant once, but she had never actually been. She didn't know the feeling of losing a child.

Even though she knew about Santana's tattoo, she had never understood the meaning of it. Santana would tell her in the future, when she would be older and wiser and more likely to understand.

For now, she needed to tell someone who wouldn't need her feelings to be explained to them. Who would know how it felt automatically.

Santana picked up and started dialling.

Her voice broke as the person on the other end answered.

'Quinn' Santana whispered. 'I need your help.'

Later that night, two teenage girls lay in each other's arms, tears running down their faces, clutching two pictures, one sonogram, one of a new born baby, to their chests.

Together, Lucy Quinn Fabray and Santana Lopez mourned for the children they had loved and lost.

**A/N- So that's it, what do you think? Good? Bad? Ugly? Whatever you think, please review. It'll mean the world to me, and would cheer me up from my depression of Glee finishing, still having to revise for important tests even though school finishes in less than a month so I don't see the point of the tests, missing out on going to see glee live because no-one would go with me and the closest one to me was over 100 miles away, and on a school day, so I couldn't go anyway, and the fact that the last Harry Potter is near my clutches, but I just can't reach it yet (which tbh, I'm used to being so short.) **

**Anyway, whoever reviews will get a virtual cookie, or a chocolate éclair, your choice. Come on, you know you want to. The diet can wait.**

**Anyways, I'm going to sign off now so I can watch A Very Potter Sequel again. **

**Peace out people!**

**Hugs and Kisses,**

**Lizzie**

**X-X-X**

**P.S. Sorry for anyone who is reading my other glee fan fiction, TBH I doubt its going to get updated. Sorry **

**P.P.S How great was the news about same-sex marriage in New York. I'm not even American and I'm celebrating. Woop Woop. If I was American and wasn't one of the unpopular crowd, I would totally be holding a party. Queue Katy Perry **

**P.P.S I put in her that Santana felt like a murderer because she had had an abortion. That's not my view. I am pro-choice, but I believe that an abortion shouldn't be taken on lightly and should be the last resort, not a quick fix. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone who's had an abortion or who knows someone who's had an abortion by putting that.**


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